Should a mother be a homemaker?
(– an opinion)
Call me conservative or traditional, but I am looking at the practical side of things, rather than following global trends. Even though many women wan
t to have a successful career, when my first child came along, my husband and I discussed our fears of how the child would turn out if both parents were working, with no suitable grandparent available at home. We didn’t take long to arrive at a solution we both strongly believed in. Making sure our child/children would have proper guidance while growing up was more important to us than having a dual income. We strongly agreed that I would be a homemaker. A few decades on, I have no regrets whatsoever.
With their mother at home, the children can be guided to grow up with the desired values, speech and behaviour. If there is only a domestic helper at home, who has household chores to manage, the likelihood is that the helper will have no time to guide the children in their speech and behaviour. If the children were to go to a student/day care centre after school, there is the risk that they may be negatively influenced by other children there in terms of speech and behaviour. With many students under their care, the teachers/facilitators may not be able to catch every utterance of vulgar language or rude behaviour. Neither can the parents if both are working. Latchkey children may decide to hang out with friends after school instead of returning to an empty, lonely home. They may go to the mall or elsewhere, and may make undesirable new friends who may lead them to trouble. All these may sound exaggerated, or we may think that there is a low probability that they would happen to our children, but I would say it is better to be safe than sorry.
If the child’s mother is at home after school each day, the child can have a proper routine of homework and playtime, and rules on the use of the television, the mobile phone, and the computer. Advice is also readily available should the child have friendship troubles or queries about any issue, and would not have only friends, the domestic helper, or the internet as a source of information, the last source being a labyrinth also consisting of material inappropriate and unhealthy for young minds. Ultimately, both mother and child would have a closer bond as a result of closer contact and interactions. This sets a foundation for a healthy lifelong relationship, and helps the child grow into a loving individual, mirroring the loving environment he/she has grown up in. If both parents are working full-time, the parent-child bond may not be as strong due to the reduced amount of interaction. Stress from work would also affect the level and quality of interactions.
It’s no wonder that the bible emphasizes the need to guide children through their growing up years:
- Proverbs 22:6 – “Instruct a child in the way he should go, and when he grows old he will not leave it.”
- Proverbs 29:15 – “The stick and the reprimand bestow wisdom, a child left to himself brings shame on his mother.”
- Proverbs 29: 17 – “Correct your son [child], and he will give you peace of mind; he will delight your soul.”
Although women today want to build careers, I hope that they will give priority to the welfare and upbringing of their children, if there is no suitable grandparent at home to guide them. After all, if the child’s own mother does not place the greatest importance on the development of her child, there will be consequences on the child’s psychological and emotional development, and subsequent states in adulthood. No money in the world with a dual income will be able to correct such imbalances, I believe. As Jesus assures, if we do what is right in God’s eyes, we will have whatever we need, “Your heavenly Father knows you need them all. Set your hearts on his kingdom first, and on his righteousness, and all these things will be given you as well” (Matthew 6: 32–33).