Don’t believe everything you hear as the whole truth
In these days of fake news, it is timely to remind ourselves not to believe everything we hear as the whole truth. What someone tells us about somebody else is most likely not the whole truth, and could sometimes be completely false, especially if the conveyer is a liar or has ulterior motives.
Most of us enjoy a childhood listening to stories told by family members, having storybooks read to us, and reading books ourselves. Listening about what happened to people in stories may form an integral part if growing up. Watching about people’s lives and experiences in television drama may also be a daily or weekly routine for many of us. Whether in print or on TV, there is always a problem that the protagonist faces, or some character weakness that causes conflict with others. It is when we transfer storytelling to our real lives that we complicate and even damage relationships. Unlike authors and scriptwriters, we do not know all the facts about anyone, hence talking about other people in real life can often be a form of spreading untruth about them.
It would be prudent therefore not to believe whatever we hear about someone else as the whole truth. Very often, it is not. Some of it could even be lies. If we believe everything we hear and, worse still, act on it by treating the subject of the gossip negatively, or passing on the gossip to others, we are complicit in believing untruths without verifying them, spreading falsehoods about someone, and damaging the person’s reputation. In my view, there are several reasons why we should not believe wholesale everything we hear, let alone pass it to others.
Firstly, when Person A tells us something about Person B, can we really be certain that the information is accurate? For the ease of narration, I will use the feminine pronoun, as I believe there are more female than male gossips. Person A may think she knows all the facts, but can she really? She has most likely not been with Person B for 24 hours each day, every day of the week. Neither can she read B’s mind or see into her heart. She may also not be fully cognizant of what B has gone through in her life. All in all, it is highly probable that whatever A says about B is not totally accurate for any of these reasons. “There is no smoke without fire”, some may say, but we should then find out who started the fire in the first place. It may not have been B, or the circumstances could have been such that make the situation not as straightforward as it looks. Fundamentally, no one is omniscient or all-knowing, and thus A should not pass judgments on B or gossip about B. In turn, we should not believe everything we hear.
Secondly, some people deliberately lie or distort the facts for various reasons. They could be habitual liars or enjoy the attention when they tell ‘juicy’ stories. They may therefore exaggerate, lie or distort the facts so that their stories are more engaging, interesting, or garner sympathy from others whether deservedly or not. A likelihood is that gossips may have a low self-esteem and so try to spread negative perceptions about Person B, so that they themselves appear better than B. Or they may be prejudiced against B for some reason, be it racial or based on some past experience or incident, and want to bring B down by spreading negative stories or comments about B.
Some may even have the desire to appear all-knowing about others, and so gossip about them, often adding untrue details or exaggerating some parts in order to engage and maintain their listeners’ attention. And of course, there are those with career-related ambitions who gossip or backstab those whom they see as threats of obstacles to their promotion.
The bible warns us against gossip and backstabbing:
Exodus 23:1 — “You must not make false assertions. You must not support a guilty man by giving malicious evidence.”
James 1:26 — “Nobody must imagine that he is religious while he still goes on deceiving himself and not keeping control over his tongue; anyone who does this has the wrong idea of religion.”
James 4:11 — “Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who slanders a brother, or condemns him, is speaking against the Law and condemning the Law.”
Likewise, when someone gossips to us about someone else, it would be prudent to keep in mind that Person A cannot possibly know all the facts about B, and that only God does. There are many likely reasons why A would want to say negative things about B, so to keep from erring ourselves, it would be fairer not to believe everything we hear as the whole truth, not to pass it on to others as we may become complicit in spreading falsehood, and not to judge B based on what we hear, as what we have been told is most likely skewed or not the whole truth.